when one's pride is hurt

[dam_is_life]

Dear everybody,
I am feeling really exhausted. I wish I could cry out all my sorrows and pain and..anything to help me forget all about this stuff thing. I know moaning is of no help and seems pathetic. I will not moan but it still hurts. I just wonder if it holds true for everyone that first impression is always important and judging a person take less time than finishing a piece of cake. If it is the case,then..so awful, really awful..

[kefka]

" first impression is always important and judging a person take less time than finishing a piece of cake " , i dont know what to say but you seem right :))
so , to avoid miserable defeated , you should approach more carefully next time and don't do " funny " things :)) on the first time you meet her => everything would be alright

[dam_is_life]

hey, I can't help laughing. I am not a lesbian you know. If I have any problems in my mind, that is I get bored so often. And human beings, when the might is the right and stinky stuff concerning money always boggle our mind, it is so dissapointing.

[Cigar]

Girl..not try to be a man,be yourseft,why we make some fake profile??
Mirrage world..may be it'e better than the real world,if we respect the value it brings to us...may be somtimes we feel bore with it,but the action can't stop
Who am I???The very crap man,I never dare to let someone knows who am I..

[dam_is_life]

so why lecture me? There is no limit in this world. I might be a pessimist but a positive one. I know what is behind beautiful things , behind sweet voice there is a black soul, behind every deed a desire to have sth back, behind every medal there is stinky business, behind friendship lies jeolousy. I know all that and I hate that so much. What I want to do is to get to the core of it, to feel the hurt. I believe only by facing the truth can we correct the wrongdoing or any guilty feeling pop up in our heart. I can't accept any lullaby leading me to a false world of no evil or bad, it is utopia.

[kefka]

:)) sorry , i didn't know you're a lady , please forgive my rude behavious :x

" If I have any problems in my mind, that is I get bored so often " => i feel the same the last two year , when i was at university , but believe me , u should treasure these moment , the moment when you're feeling bored ...
when u face the very very harsh cruel outside world , you'll see , like me now , i even dont' have the time to consider if i was bored or not :))

i've just read your new post , you're planning to change the world to an utopia ??? :)) , sorry , but it's really funny , this world already have orders and rules , onone can break it , it will go on the way it does ( i mean the dirty , stinky , jealous , dark way :)) )
why dont' you think about become stronger , become a predator in this real life , hold your own life and crush those stupid weakling and reach what they call " success " instead of becoming a saint ??? :x

" strong and live , weak and die
rule of life
no change rule "
( from alya of chrono trigger ) :))

[dam_is_life]

hey, you take me wrong, I am not dreaming of changing this world, it is quite a fantasy dream. What I want to assert is I know what is right and what is wrong, and I want to make all people know about this, those who encounter me in their walk of life. And I hate those contemptible, trivial things which are trying to corrup me. No, I am not behaving like an animal ( a predator in this real life , hold your own life and crush those stupid weakling ), it works sometimes but not always. I did once think of that but what then, I will be like the rest of this pitiable mankind.

[kefka]

everyone knows what is right and what is wrong , but they just dont' care bout it as long as they make profit , all that they would know is money money money + power power power ...
but i can't tell that's bad , cause with out their greed , we're still in stone age now :)) . It's the motivation of our social , ya know
you should learn to see life in another angle , and you will see how beautiful it is .

[Cigar]

you should learn to see life in another angle , and you will see how beautiful it is --->the best sentence of the week..
If you feel disapoint with the real world,right you are..I said that we live in the incomplete world,it has many angle,cin has asked me:what colour is our life,and I reply:white color,because with that pure colour,we can draw..
Hopeless one will paint it with the black colour,and happy one will paint it with pink..etc.
Of course,human nowaday try to make the world better day by day,and we can't deny what they have done to our life,dream about the perfect world is not the right way..

[dam_is_life]

Please, don't take me wrong, I say it again: I DON'T SEE OR EXPECT ANYTHING AS a PERFECT WORLD. I am aware that there is nothing 100% perfect. Sure, you are optimistic, you see life in white or pink or whatever color. It is good, but you can't deny that there still exists the downside of every beautiful thing you see, and that is life, or more exactly the real life you can't escape everyday. SO let me ask you, pink or white observers ( for you see life in different colors), what would you do when you realize life is not the color you have always seen in?I don't like a partial view, I like a allround one>

[Cigar]

It's up to our feeling.
I can give you the very simple example...
What will you choose:the rose or the gabage???the answer is not easy...
Roses always have good smell,but they can't refine to the food,but gabage(cai bap...sorry,I can't sure this word is right) can..
Sometimes we choose rose,and some time we choose gabage..alll of them,have the mighty point and the weak point.
In some ones sight;roses have the good smell,and gabage can refine to delicious food.
But some one saw that;roses are useless,and gabage is the ugly plant...
Hope that will help you got the true sight about our world,lady..

[aquary]

So, what's the colour of life? Life, to me, is full of colours. So colourful that sometimes it confuses me. When things are not way I expect them to be, i learn to take life as it is, and utter these stupid words of cest la vie...
Life could never be perfect, and neither could we.
For every laughter there must be seas of tears
For every happy moment there must be days of sorrow

Still we live on and dream on, for happiness can only be truly appreciated when one has already experienced sorrow.
(er er )

We are but big children probing around in the darkness of the uncovered life.

Dam is life, yeah, and great is life too.

Good day...

[dam_is_life]

blessed those who could be so lively and optimistic. ya, life is colorful in your eyes and you are so lovely, aquary. But sorry, I can't utter lies to myself. Do you believe in fate? Life is destined and you can't change the way you are. Let me put it in my way, still this world is awful but at least there is something that makes me cheer up a bit, hold your head high and smile a pure smile ( not those silly ones under peer pressure). Can I say you are one of them? Can it be a tiny candle bringing little illusive light in this dark world..

[aquary]

oosp, i forgot to tell you this one thing, just one little thing about a friend of mine whom I really admire

She's not my closest friend, nor is she my bosom friend, but her way of living is so adorable to me.

She believes in her heart that happy endings will come to those who live kind-heartedly. And she holds this faith, seeing day in day out with her own eyes all the evils and ills of this world. Even when life does not give her her well-deserved due, she keeps on believing. Never tell a lie, never talk ill of somebody else, even those she hates.

We are born innocent and with a big heart. Yet as we grow up, being exposed to the unfair and bull shit everyday life, our hearts grow hard and shrink till there's only room for ourselves. We do evil selfish things, tell lies, in the name of our own survival.

But this friend of mine is different, the faith in her heart is unshakable, and I hope I can be, though just a little bit, like her.

Man, it's an ever-changing world and it helps to have such a true faith

Everything will be allright in the end, if it's not allright, then it's not the end yet.

With love from here,

Esp to mas and enig

[dam_is_life]

dear aquary, could I know who that girl is..is it you? Sorry, just a testament to something I have always doubted.

[aquary]

Dam is life, yeah

I'll tell u this, I live, study, work, struggle under the shadow of a hopeless fear: history repeats itself. It hurts me awfully to say this: however much i love my dad, I loathe to be like him.

I dream to be a successful, beautiful woman, with nothing to complain of. (we share the same dream, ha???) Just like how they show it on T.V, living like lords and queens. Yet at times it strikes me like a zaror that maybe all these things are just unfounded , just another pipe dreams. Will it work? Or life would be just an endless circle? All i have is faith.

Life is not a bed of roses, but Let's hope we all find some fine roses for ourselves.
Excuse these stupid words ererere

[aquary]

no, it's not me. That's honeysuckle (Nga^n đó mà) kekeke

A living angel

and me? ....a living....human haha

[dam_is_life]

Aquary, you have left and now I am here alone with this virtual world. Ironically, we couldn't say the real feelings and thoughts not in the real world but here, in this completely illusive world. When you left, aquary, I read something in your eyes, sth deep inside and I , admittedly was stumbling . In the real world, I hardly ever expose this side of me, do you aquary?. But here I feel at ease to expose this stupid, weak me. Ya, I have sth disappointing in my life, much as I attribute to fate and destiny.And I even get to hate myself, much as I claim how much my self esteem is. Life is harsh, and challenging. It requires eternal strive and never-given-hope, and those who win the games will stand high. You are one of them, aquary, believe me, you have the full ability and capacity to do this. Many people have come and go out of my walk of life. Some I will meet later in my course of life. Others I have never seen again. But could they be addressed shooting stars in my life, stars of hope and resources, of true value who will never show up again. Aquary, it is hurtful, but just inmagine that someday we could well be strangers to each other, though we breathe the same atmosphere or meet the same people. This will be another blow to me, I say this to you aquary, 'cause don't ever doubt my fondness for you if someday I can't get near you. Can't you feel something wrong here?.
About honeysuckle, I don't know much about her, though she does breathe the same atmosphere and meet the same people. Darn it. I am so bad. Just like the way it is, I never expect sth good or encouraging in everything I see and those I meet. Oh, I want to shout out , to get out of this blackhole of me. I want to be isolated and labelled " contagious: danger". Oh aquary, I could never say what I really think in the real world and I hate it so much. An eternal crippling crisis is making its way inside , and I so fear it..please, aquary, if I behave odd, don't think otherwise of me. Maybe that is the time I get decayed.

[kefka]

took me long enough to come back to this topic ,huh

i talk bout the color first : i just dont' care if it's pink or black or .... i treat people the way they treated me , good and i'm good , mean and i'm MEANER :)) . To me , there's no completly good or bad person , i dont have time to arrange them into good or bad group , i just walk on my street and just dont care if there's dirty movement in the underground

" Life is not a bed of roses " => sure , couldn't stay on a bed full of rose thorns :))

[dam_is_life]

well, I have visited this topic time and time again too. In fact, I can't help feeling hurtful whenever I reread my message. I wonder if members in this forum knows every other. As for me, I rarely, if not have never told this to anybody straight in the face. Hic. True, real world is harsh and inhibited.

[BROOM]

yes! it's not easy to tell all in a talk "face to face", if i have trouble, telephone is my doctor.
and i read your story,and i agree with you, it's very very difficult to forget all. if you think so,don't try to forget,because it maybe will make you feel more hurtful.Let think about it, there is a way to pass our sorrow is go straght it. OK ? think and then find out your mistakes, if you find nothing ? coragulation! you will forget it easily,you will enjoy again your freedom, and peace of mind!

[Cigar]

My my,can you see what Broom has posted???She always have the happy sight about this world..although manythings terrible happen to her..I feel ashame why I,the man has a fewer tragedy than her..must complain about all the problem in my life.
I still have a lots of chance now,the problem is the way i beat my self.Escape from the empty,agnory feeling,and dream about the brighter future..

[kefka]

i dunno why u feel hurt , must because your words remind some memory that only you know yourself
when i have a crush , i go chating and telling other how i feel but dont tell them the true reason :)) => very interesting , u must try it as your treatment , dam_is_life

[Cigar]

Yes,just the common way to treat the empty feeling..but we stuck in those lied words,must explain but couldn't show all.
Games make me feel better for the litle moment,but also grow my sins,oh ....:((

[dam_is_life]

hey, I do just what you do, kefka but it ends up in turmoil and confusion and misunderstanding and even tears. In fact, my stomach turns whenever I think of trying to get everything clear. I have become somewhat of an alien creature, my friends say they can't understand me, and I think I am going to hate me more and more. I often console myself that the best friend is I myself, and gamevn now..maybe the secondbest, for at least I can tell everything boggling in my mind here. But let's stop here, much as I hate myself, blame myself or lose direction I don't want the same thing happen to anyone else here. At least we have something to look up, like broom, like aquary ..sth shiny and vivacious, fresh, some guidelines in our chaotic life. Oops, that is what I think!

[kefka]

:)) they're just human , not saint
how did you know they dont have anything to worry bout ?
how bout me , i'm always smile doesnt mean my life is so smooth
you have problem , crush it if you're strong mind or just leave it :)) , u feel better that way , why have to think bout something we cant solve ???

[Cigar]

Fall and complain,it dangerous for our life(I know that but I still do it someday).
just like kefka said:laugh for everything,it makes me remember the samurai Soujiro Seta,he killed all his family in the pouring rain and after that,his bloody face has the frezze smile(oh man,what is this..the top of miserable??)

[BROOM]

Cigarette, my life is really happy, it's not painful. so there is no reason for me to complain. And...complaining...it's not a useful way.

[kefka]

no no , i'm talking with dam_is_life and i dont' mean to hit in any bush , so u dont have to be so worried like that :)) , just stay in the your bush ok :)) ?
samurai = overkill , huh